“No reason, but morose only.”

Can’t imagine.

A first yr student of our institute, Sugata Bhattacharya, committed suicide on 2nd early morning. And this is what he wrote in his suicide-note. The sem exams were under way, and the first yrs had exam on 2nd itself. All exams were postponed till Jan, after holidays. I wasn’t in the hostel, but surely can guess the chaos on that day.

Why, man ?? Just why ? I cant understand what problem someone like him could have. Was a pretty cool and prominent guy in their large batch, i must agree. But this ? don’t know. Everyone’s in tatters here.

Thought this sem would be a great one, but turned out to be the worst. It was becoming tougher and tougher for me, and it ended like hell. I really need time to regroup, time to reflect.

I’ll be back, … adieu, Sugata.

Midsem

It’s, it’s … driving me nuts. So many things to deal with. And then … to top it all, here comes the midsem. Everything’s a colorful hotch-potch … Stat has become probability, prob has become analysis,  and ana  is  showing vestiges of the now extinct ( in our course ) linear algebra. What the hell … 4 gone, one rem.

Well, well, nothing profound. If can study a bit, then it’s okay. But, sadly, that hasn’t been the caser in this sem till now. Must recover, else it’s becoming too demoralizing.

Frershers’ – Part two

Only three days to go before the big day.

More and more tasks seem to be coming up now and then. Doing posters, getting them up in the places, arranging for audio-visual assistance etc, compiling the intros into ’significant subgroups’ of 5-6 which is to be called together, and so on and so forth … We’re nearly to the point of getting driven mad.

Meanwhile, three things worth mentioning ( by chronological order ) …

1. Joined the institute gym. No surprises, the same “cut down on fatty foods” funda. One thing i like, … less cardio, lots of weight training. Can’t run barefoot on the treadmill, the rubber belts are too thin and the rollers beneath them are hurting the foot badly. Skipping it after first day, doing spot cycling instead.

2. The experimental phase of our microchimerism project has finally got under way. What we got …

sample no. 1 – control, no DNA !

sample no. 2 – case, very near getting our desired results, but have to eliminate some factors.

samples 3 and 4 – controls, got clotted only after an hr of taking the sample ! God ( and maybe Tamoghna, coz he got the blood ) knows how.

ok, let’s see.

2. Entered first time in the Girls hostel, to put up posters for freshers’. It has a large front door and two side-doors that open into two sides of the inside corridor. For some reason the front one was tightly closed, and one side of oneof the side-doors was bolted, another open for people to come in and go out.

Freshers’ – part one

As per the institute convention we 2nd yr people are supposed to give an official welcome to all the undergrad and grad course freshers. Just imagine. OUR batch, only 9 people. And the next B.Stat. batch itself has got 47. On top of that some 60 more freshers in other courses. And now sample this. Last yr the total count was 50 odd ! You are NOT that insensitive that you can’t understand what has been going we poor 9 fellows. So very horrible ( yet so very GRATIFYING ), … planning everything, getting bits and pieces of advices from seniors, writing posters, negotiating for funds ( and probably sponsorships ), writing invitations, arranging for the auditorium, constantly trying to come up with new ideas … all on these nine 19-yr olds. All for the ‘Mas Fresco 2008 … Confessions‘.

And … AHA, how can I forget the QUESTIONNAIRE, which is designed by us, supposed to be filled up by every fresher, and then juicy intros written from them about everyone and many more, to introduce them in the stage. Here’s the one we’ve made ……

SPEAK FOR YOURSELF

Answer all (*) marked questions. Choose any 9 among others.

*1. Who art thou ?

*2. What art thou ?

3. Which kind of mountains do you like ? – a. Young and growing, b. Snow clad, c. Hard and rocky, d. Volcanic.

*4. I can …….. ( a long gap, to be filled up ).

*5. Are you … a. Veg or non-veg, b. Hot or cool ?

*6. The teacher you … a. like the most, b. Fear the most ?

7. Give a suitable quote for the ISI T-Shirt.

8. First impression about the hostel ………

9. Your first crush.

10. Suggest with reasons … a. an ideal bathroom-mate from your batch ( explanation – in the hostel we live in single rooms, with two sharing one bathroom each, hence bathroom-mate ),               b. someone from your batch whom you want as a parent-in-law.

11. The craziest thing you did in your life.

12. Describe an incident in your life that most resembles world war II.

13. What do you do that takes closest to Nirvana ( no allusions to the band. )

*14. Your dream actor/ model ………. Describe, in short, the wildest dream you had involving him/ her.

*15. ” When you try your best but you don’t succeed/ When you get what you want but not what you need/ when you feel so tired that you can’t sleep ” — what do you do ???

16. Suppose one day a teacher comes in your class, places a banana on the table and says, “I’ll be back in 10 minutes, have this banana meanwhile”, and goes out. What will you do ? ( THIS QUESTION IS INSPIRED BY A TRUE INCIDENT. )

17. Name the person(s) whose answers inspired you to answer your questionnaire.

N.B. If you haven’t found any questions, the answers to which will be your NAME and BATCH …… please mention it somewhere !

Strictly N.B. : I won’t take sole responsibility for any of these questions, so all the praises and/or swears, criticisms addressed to this questionnaire would be redirected to our whole batch, lots of seniors …

Heartbroken

It is one thing if you can’t answer because you didnt know it. It doesn’t hurt that much. But when you know it by heart yet massacre it, you only want to ………. I don’t know. Feeling so down. Felt at first it was the right way to do the problem, yet, skeptical, skipped it ….. and it WAS the right way. In another, did the right answer, changed it to the wrong un, again changed it to right, again wrong, again right, and finally kept the wrong. Shit. And the ‘minus’-in-place-of-’plus’ childhood nemesis still going strong on me. And all this in an easy ( so-called ) paper like Statistics. The paper was, …… how I’d have wished it on my day. Yes. It had nothing wrong. Everything wrong was going on inside my mind.

I am still not quite ready for the sems; I mean, my psychology still not fully oriented, …… thinking too much about the holidays that are to come …… I MUST PULL MYSELF TOGETHER. I must. Else the holidays will also taste bitter and undeserved.

I deserve a better performance from myself. This is far from the best Me.